All Means All

 What a crazy story it’s been. Every time I think the book is ending, another chapter unfolds. Every time I think this season is over, that God couldn’t possibly ask me to give up more.. There’s more haha. In this season, I’ve come to realize what it means to lay down your life. It’s not just spiritually but in the practicals, what we empty he will fill. 

 This season has felt like a lot of emptying. I’m selling my car for my trip, I don’t have a home church, I won’t have a definite place to come home to, I watch as my savings dwindle. And none of this has been done out of haste but I’ve decided on after hours in prayer. I’m spent. It can feel foolish, giving up everything, having no security. But I’m reminded of this story:

 Two brothers embarked on a journey. At some point on their path, they came across a lake. With no boat or anything to get them across, they decided to swim. As they raced across the lake, one brother swam as fast as he could to get across, while the other took breaks to float here and there. Once they both got to the other side of the lake, the brother who took his time asked, “Why did you give your all to get across? How do you expect to have enough energy for the return?” The other brother laughed and replied, “I don’t expect a return.”

 I know it seems foolish. Leaving nothing for when I come home to America. But I think that’s the point of this season. I don’t think God wants to send me on this journey only to come back to a normal life. I think he’s getting me ready for something bigger than this average life. 

 As he says “Give it up.” I will keep giving and giving. It can be scary, this unknowing of things, but holding onto things that don’t matter scares me a little more. 

 There’s a story in 1 Kings 17 about a widow and the prophet Elijah. She was afraid to feed him because as she says in verse 12 “I have nothing but a handful of flour and a little oil.” she explains to Elijah that without it, her and her son will die. But Elijah says in verse 13 “Do not fear; go and do as you have said but first make me a little cake of it and bring it to me, and afterward make something for yourself and your son. For thus says the Lord, the flour shall not be spent and the jar of oil shall not be empty..” As she gave what she felt was nothing, everyone involved was blessed. The Lord provided.

 The gifts that you all have given me have turned into abundance in my life and I know as I continue to give as well, God will turn it all to abundance just as it was with the widow and the prophet. Thank you all for your donations and support in this time. Your obedience to give is fueling my obedience to keep giving all.