I'm not sure how one tells the story of goodbye. It's like a coin with a head and tail. One side of goodbye is happy, the other is sad. One side is excited, the other is anxious. This coin isn't flipped to one side or the other either. It's in a constant spin. Constantly feeling each thing. All I've ever wanted was to uproot and leave this place. Now it's time to go, and I can't seem to come to terms with it.

 Leaving is all anyone can seem to talk to me about. Everyone asks if I'm ready, and the answer has been no. I haven't felt prepared emotionally, spiritually, or practically. It has felt like bracing for an inevitable crash. I know it's coming, but pumping the breaks anyway. But as I've been trying to process all these emotions and do my best to get myself ready, God has been laying the story of Joshua on my heart.  

 Joshua 18:2-3 "There remained among the people of Israel seven tribes whose inheritance had not yet been appointed. So Joshua said to the people of Israel, "How long will you put off going in to take possession of the land which the Lord, the God of your fathers, has given to you?"

 God will never have anything ready to give me that I am not prepared to receive. No matter how unprepared I feel. God stands behind me, fully confident in me, and continues to push me forward. The grace of God is simply this: No matter how hard I could try to pump the breaks on leaving, God keeps excelling me. It's like he has grabbed hold of my hand and taken off running. I can choose to run with him, or he will drag me. Either way, I will get to the places he has for me.

 Nothing can stand in the way of what he has for me. This realization hit me the other day. I was spending the day meeting with people I wouldn't have the chance to see again before I left as well as brainstorming how I was going to pay off the rest of my tuition before I left. That whole day it seemed like I was staring at this mountain of emotions and finances in my way of the race. I felt really heavy. When out of nowhere, I got a notification on my phone saying someone had paid off the remaining amount of my tuition for the race.
 
 $18,500 in 6 months. Every time I look at this number, I'm overwhelmed with people's generosity and God's faithfulness to provide for his promise. He invited me on an adventure with him; he wasn't going to let a mere $18,500 or emotions of not being prepared stand in his way. With this in mind, despite the people I'm going to miss, I am stoked to embark on this journey.

What adventures has the Holy Spirit invited you on lately?